


You Won't Save the Night for Me (Tyrus One Shot)

by green_lemonboys



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a sad ending, M/M, Songfic, duh - Freeform, tj is famous and cyrus is confused by their relationship, what dd you expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 06:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19457953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_lemonboys/pseuds/green_lemonboys
Summary: Inspired by Tove Lo’s song ‘hey you got drugs?’ Where TJ is a famous basketball player and his return to Shadyside makes Cyrus feel more confused than he has in a while





	You Won't Save the Night for Me (Tyrus One Shot)

_One more shot. Couldn’t hurt._ Well, it would, but Cyrus couldn’t really bring himself to care about that. It wasn’t like he was drinking to forget, although that was what it looked like. He was drinking until the memories were just fuzzy enough for him to distance himself from them. Until they felt like snippets of the scrambled, messed up life of some other sorry soul, and not him.

His parents had always told him one thing, ever since he was a teenager. _Don’t change, Cyrus. But that doesn’t mean don’t grow. Don’t change in a way that one day when you look in the mirror, you don’t recognise the person staring back at you._ Well, too late for that. He hadn’t changed dramatically, he was still good old kind, reasonable, understanding, Cyrus Goodman. But some of the decisions he had made in his life were things that made him want to punch the mirror in a fit of drunken haziness.

TJ Kippen was one such decision.

And he should never have fallen into the trap, but night time is weird, and after some time, he just couldn’t quit. It was a sweet escape, well sweet for TJ and sometimes for Cyrus. But only for a while. Only for a while.

Honestly, curiosity was what pulled him in, but curiosity killed the cat, didn’t it?

Cyrus set down the shot glass, the music growing to a deep, pounding trip. Cyrus pushed himself away from the bar, stumbling onto the dance floor. This was a bad idea, but just then, Cyrus couldn’t think of anything to deal with everything better than to dance away. Dance away into the night, like he was playing a game. Like it was fun.

’ _Who can stay dancing the longest?’_

A great reality show idea.

Cyrus began nodding his head to the beat, swaying to the music, moving his shoulders, letting the music wash over him like he was washed up on shore, the cold waves running over his skin. He raised his hands to the music, not caring what people thought, because no one cared. To them, he was just another soul losing himself on the dance floor.

As he swayed, jumped, headbanged, Cyrus let his thoughts run wild. And of course, they ran right to TJ.

*

_**3 years ago** _

It had been a tiring day at the clinic, and Cyrus had practically sunken into the booth at the Spoon, enjoying his guilty pleasure of baby taters and milkshake. He would’ve called someone else, but Andi was busy at the craft store, Amber in the boutique she ran beside Andi’s shop, and Buffy had moved away a couple years ago. Jonah came by every now and then, whenever he was on a break, or around Shadyside while he was on tour. But that wasn’t very often. Cyrus didn’t mind though, he was used to it.

He was just about to eat his food, when he heard the door of the Spoon open, and an extremely familiar voice spoke from behind him.

“Still baby taters and milkshake?”

Cyrus smiled, turning around to look at TJ. “Why mess with success?”

TJ laughed, sitting opposite Cyrus as Cyrus laughed softly, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What are you doing here?”

“Can’t a guy visit his home town?” TJ asked, narrowing his eyes in amusement.

Cyrus raised his eyebrows. “I just assumed you got too famous for it, Mr Basketball star.”

TJ’s jaw hung open in mock offense. “Wow, the disrespect on my return!”

Cyrus giggled, looking down, knowing how his cheeks were already turning red. How TJ still had that effect on him after all that time was still a mystery to him.

TJ smiled softly, looking intently at Cyrus. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“Don’t blind yourself, then.”

“Don’t worry,” TJ said with a smirk, pulling out a pair of RayBans. “I can protect myself and still keep looking.”

Cyrus rolled his eyes, trying to keep his focus on the taters, hiding his expression. Sure, maybe this had something to do with the fact that all through school, Cyrus had a huge crush on TJ, and there was that one party when he and TJ ended up kissing, ironically, behind a closet. But, that had been years ago, and they had never spoken about the party ever since. It had been written off as a non-event, even though Cyrus wanted to do anything but forget it. But opening old wounds only made them harder to heal.

They had been silent for a while, Cyrus eating his food as TJ kept his eyes fixed on Cyrus, every now and then sneaking a tater. Eventually, Cyrus slammed down a paper napkin.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” TJ asked, feigning innocence. Cyrus raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

TJ just smiled, getting out of his seat, much to Cyrus’ confusion.

“Wanna watch a movie at my place? It’s been a while since we hung out together,” He said, holding out his hand to Cyrus.

Cyrus looked from TJ to his outstretched hand, feeling confused, but just a small bit excited. So he nodded, and grabbed his hand.

_How a part of him wished he never had._

They went back to TJ’s place and were watching a movie, both of them on opposite sides of the couch. But it didn’t stay that way for long. It only took an hour for them to be sitting right next to each other, their arms firmly pressed together.

All the while, Cyrus held his breath, unable to stop his heart from racing. Feeling brave, he leaned down, placing his shoulder on TJ’s shoulder. Much to his surprise, TJ didn’t freak out, going so far to run his hands through Cyrus’ hair. He let out a small sigh, placing his hand on TJ’s chest as he focused back on the movie.

As the credits rolled, Cyrus didn’t want to move from the position he was in, but he knew he had to. He moved to get up, looking at TJ. But as he looked up, his breath hitched in his throat, immediately noting the lack of distance between them. His nose was practically touching TJ’s, and his heart was about to burst out of his chest.

“I’m sorry, I,” Cyrus stammered, moving back, but TJ grabbed his hand.

“It’s okay,” He whispered, moving his hand behind Cyrus’ neck, looking at him nervously but determined.

Unable to stop himself anymore, Cyrus lesned forward and pressed his lips to TJ’s, blowing caution to the wind. TJ immediately reciprocated, pulling Cyrus closer. Cyrus sighed, wrapping his arms around TJ’s waist, holding him tight. Somehow, it felt the exact same way it did like it did all those years ago at that party.

After what felt like forever, they pulled away, Cyrus trying to catch his breath, TJ laughing softly.

“Been wondering when you would do that,” He whispered, leaning in for another kiss.

And Cyrus couldn’t describe anything that could make him feel happier.

They kissed a bit more, settling in for another movie, now cuddled together, and it was no surprise that they ended up falling asleep on the couch.

“I don’t wanna go home,” Was the last thing Cyrus remembered whispering to TJ as sleep opened its arms to him.

“Then don’t,” is the last thing he heard, a kiss pressed to his forehead as he drifted off.

*

The sunlight streaming in through the curtains of the room were what ended waking up Cyrus. Well, that and the smell of coffee in the air. Taking in a deep breath, Cyrus rolled over on the couch, only to pat the empty, TJ-shaped space that lay next to him. He say up, looking around curiously to catch sight of him, and spotted him in the kitchen. Smiling to himself, Cyrus got up and walked over to the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey there, stranger,” He said softly, and TJ turned around to look at Cyrus, a smile on his face. Cyrus saw nothing wrong, but for some reason, he felt something was off. Like TJ’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, like he was putting more distance between them than needed. But he just shook his head slightly, pushing those thoughts away. _Just sleepiness and overthinking. Not a good combination._ Cyrus just settled with walking over to where TJ was pouring coffee into two mugs.

“That was sweet of you,” Cyrus said, leaning forward with his eyes shut, a giddy smile on his face.

“I know,” TJ said, placing the mug of steaming coffee into Cyrus’ hand before walking into the other room, leaving Cyrus hanging in confusion.

_What just happened?_

“So,” Cyrus said, trying to hide the confusion in his voice. “The clinic is closed on Saturdays, so if you want, we can go bowling. Or I heard there are some great movies playing in theatres right now.”

“Actually, I have some interviews and meetings and stuff to do over Skype all of today. Team stuff,” TJ said, keeping his eyes trained on his phone, as he typed away furiously.

Cyrus tilted his head in confusion at TJ’s sudden change in attitude. “Um, okay. I’ll go then, don’t wanna hold up your work.”

TJ nodded, finally looking up at Cyrus. “Is your number still the same?”

“Yeah?”

“Then I’ll call you, Cy. I will,” TJ said with a small smile, getting up to walk over to Cyrus, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead, easing the crease on it.

At least temporarily.

Cyrus went back, having to confront the mess he had left behind the previous morning when he had left for work. He took a long shower, trying to process everything that had happened over the previous 12 hours. What really puzzled him was TJ’s change in attitude from night to morning.

 _He was just focused on the meetings and stuff. That’s all. Nothing to be worried about_ , Cyrus tried to reason with himself. He decided to finish up on some of his paperwork, aided by a glass of rosé as usual. Whenever he decided to finish write ups and reports, they took all day and always helped keep his mind off things. As the sun slowly went below the horizon, and the sky darkened, Cyrus checked the time on his phone. 7:37pm. Surely TJ would be free then?

Cyrus picked up his phone, finding a text from TJ informing him of his new number. Cyrus smiled to himself, typing out a message to him, sending it with no hesitation.

 **Cyrus** : hey wanna watch a movie at my place? i have netflix so no need to worry :)

 **TJ** : sorry have to pack. flight out tomorrow

 **Cyrus** : oh. well, be safe!

 **TJ** : i will.

 **TJ** : oh and cyrus? can you keep last night on the dl

 **TJ** : thanks for being a great friend

Reading that last message, Cyrus set down his phone, surprised to find his heart sinking lower than it ever had. _Friend friend friend friend._ He wanted to pretend like it had never happened. The surprises continued when Cyrus found a stray tear rolling down his cheek. He rubbed it away forcefully, pulling himself together, before dragging himself into the bedroom, just wanting to rest.

*

All through the next couple months, whenever Cyrus would walk into the bar, TJ’s games would be playing. He couldn’t get himself to look at them, even when the crowd cheered in jubilation at every basket he made. With every basket, Cyrus tuned it out that much more. Soon enough, he just stopped going, preferring to stay in the comforts of his house. Andi and Amber noticed his weird behavior and they tried to get him to spill what had happened, but he never said a word about that night.

It had been around 10 months, not that Cyrus was keeping count. He was just watching stand up comedy specials on Netflix, inhaling Cheetos, when he heard the doorbell ring. Furrowing his eyebrows, Cyrus set down the empty packet and paused the special to open the door, immediately wanting to shut it and never be seen by another human being ever again. But instead, he steadied his nerves and looked him in the eye with a neutral expression.

“What are you doing here, TJ?”

TJ shrugged, smiling charmingly. “I wanted to see you. Is your offer of Netflix still up?”

“You’re about 10 months late.”

“Sorry, I had to go back quick. But, I’m back for a while, and I wanna be with you.”

Cyrus knew he shouldn’t let TJ in, seeing the emotions he had been experiencing the past few months. But then again, he just wanted to be close to TJ, he couldn’t pull away. So, he nodded. _Its not like anything would happen. They were friends._

The night transpired exactly as the first night did, the only change in the morning being that when Cyrus woke up, it was to no smell of coffee and no TJ. Just him on his own living room couch. Cyrus sighed, rubbing his eyes. _Why did he expect anything different?_

But unlike the other times, when he left the house that day to go meet Andi at the craft shop, there was TJ, laughing and hugging her. Cyrus smiled, walking into the store.

“Hey Andi,” Cyrus said, TJ turning to look at him when he spoke. “I see you’ve met the famous person of the group.”

“Oh shut up, I’m not as famous as Jonah,” TJ said with a laugh, bumping his shoulder with Cyrus’.

Cyrus just shook his head, rolling his eyes. Andi laughed, cleaning the counter space as she spoke.

“What’s been up with you TJ? Any special person?” Andi asked, smirling sneakily as she looked between him and Cyrus.

“No, I don’t have the time,” TJ said with a shrug, ignoring the glare from Cyrus.

_So they still were nothing._

Andi looked between them, catching Cyrus’ expression, and she couldn’t help but feel confused. But she couldn’t ask about it because Amber walked in with a squeal, tackling her brother in a bone-crushing hug.

And Cyrus just stood there, smiling, his brain a muddled mess of confusion at _what had he just done._

They hung out with Andi and Amber for some more time, but Cyrus swore he caught TJ staring at him more than once, a wink thrown in every now and then. _That wasn’t helping make the situation any clearer_.

As they left the store, Cyrus began walking in the opposite direction to TJ, but he felt his grab his elbow, Cyrus’ heart speeding up much to his annoyance.

“Hey, wanna hang out at my place? We can have pizza,” TJ said with his characteristic smirk.

Cyrus looked at him, and every single cell in him was screamjng at him to ask TJ about his behavior, to call him out on it. To refuse.

But he wasn’t known for being strong, was he?

So he just nodded, and let TJ lead him home.

*

That was how it started, every time TJ was in town, they’d hang out. Meaning, they’d watch a movie as they cuddled, and eventually they would kiss, and every time they did, Cyrus’ heart would soar, thinking, _maybe this time it’s different. Maybe this time it’s real._ But then, almost every morning after TJ would grow distant, treating Cyrus like the best friends they used to be, like the previous night hadnt even happened. They would talk and joke, even flirt, but anything else would be confined to the night. Then, within 2 or 3 days, TJ would leave, and not come back for months on end, leaving Cyrus to pick up the pieces of anything that happened. They would text of course, but nothing other than what teo best friends would text each other.

Every time, Cyrus tried to bring up the question of _what are we_ to TJ but every time, TJ would change the subject, or kiss him and Cyrus would forget he asked.

But it was starting to get to him. Cyrus could feel himself fall for TJ more and more with every night, the pain of their past fitting into his heart like a shard of glass. And with every morning after, every time TJ left, he twisted it further in.

He should be having the time of his life, getting his friend back, even being able to be with the person he had liked for so long, but it wasn’t fun. It felt like TJ had made it a deal, a dance.

Because that’s what they were doin, dancing around whatever this thing between them was, was it serious? Casual? Nothing at all? Everything?

Because the only person who had the answers was the reason they needed to be asked.

*

Cyrus kept dancing and swaying, the lights dancing over him in a hypnotic manner. 3 years. 3 years of this unspoken, unexplained thing, that Cyrus had to deal with. And he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t handle any more nights of softness and closeness to only be followed by mornings of distance.

But he couldn’t do it because despite everything, he had still ended up falling in love with TJ. How could he have not? Someone like Cyrus had no chance against someone like TJ. How much ever it hurt, Cyrus couldn’t help but let himself be swept away by him.

That’s why it was so hard and confusing. So Cyrus had taken a stand. When TJ had arrived in Shadyside, Cyrus didn’t even hesitate before leaving his house and heading to the club for a distraction. He needed to be alone, he couldn’t go back to that cycle.

Cyrus stumbled across the dance floor back to the bar, where he called for 4 more shots. The bartender falshed a concerned glance at him, before pouring him the drinks. Without hesitation, Cyrus downed all of them in seconds, the room suddenly spinning.

The lights were going all funny, everything was funny. Everything was purple, and bright, and loud. Everyone looked like TJ.

TJ. TJ. Where did he live? He lived near the club right? He had to, Cyrus always passed it on his walk of shame home. Cyrus swayed, walking out the door of the club, stumbling along the sidewalk. He didn’t really know where his feet were taking him, but he just went with it.

Eventually, by some miracle, Cyrus found himself knocking on TJ’s apartment door, the numbers floating in front of his face.

The door opened, and TJ stood there in his glasses, shock painted on his face.

“Cyrus, what, what are you doing here?”

“Why? Can’t a guy meet his friend who is in town?” Cyrus slurred, pushing himself into the house, using the doorway for support.

“Well, yeah, but you weren’t home,” TJ said, confused, narrowing his eyes as he lifted Cyrus’ head up. “Are you drunk?”

“No! Just, slightly inebriated,” Cyrus groaned, before feeling his stomach go weird. He collapsed into TJ’s arms, wralling his arms around his neck.

“Just kiss me,” Cyrus said, tilting his head up to kiss TJ. TJ wrapped his arms around Cyrus’ waist, but snapped out of it and pulled away.

“Cyrus you’re drunk, I can’t do that. Come on,” He groaned, practically dragging Cyrus to the bedroom.

“It’s okay, it’s just for tonight,” Cyrus moaned, sleep starting to get to him. TJ made him wear one of his oversized hoodies, before laying him down on the bed, throwing a blanket on Cyrus.

“You need to sleep,” TJ said, pressing a quick kiss to Cyrus’ forehesd before switching off the light.

“I don’t wanna go home,” Cyrus groaned, his vision soon fading to black.

*

As Cyrus peeled his eyes open, it felt like a supernova had exploded in his brain. He groaned, rubbing his eyes as he rolled over onto his side.

He turned to look at the table to see a hand set down a glass of water and an aspirin. Peering through the blinding brightness, Cyrus sae TJ looking down at him in concern.

“Good morning,” TJ said softly, holding out the pill to Cyrus, which he took without much convincing.

Cyrus took a few minutes to adjust to his surroundings, looking around TJ’s mostly bare room.

“How are you? You feeling okay?” TJ asked, looking at Cyrus.

“Why do you care?” Cyrus said bluntly, taking TJ back.

“I, I care about you Cyrus,” He said, shaking his head in confusion. “Where is that coming from?”

“Sorry, just, headache,” Cyrus mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

TJ sighed. “It’s okay,” He said quietly, leaning in to kiss Cyrus, but Cyrus leaned away, remembering the resolve he had last night. TJ furrowed his eyebrows, concerned.

“Don’t,” Cyrus whispered, holding out his hand.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t do that. Don’t kiss me, and cuddle with me while we watch movies or compliment me, and act like you want more and then go ahead and become cold and distant the next morning. I don’t know how much more I can handle,” Cyrus said, his voice cracking, keeping his gaze fixed on the bedsheets.

“What are you talking about, Cyrus?” TJ said shakily, knowing exactly what Cyrus was saying.

“What are we, TJ?” Cyrus asked desperately.

TJ looked at Cyrus, his gaze shifting around the room. He pulled at the skin on his thumb, biting his lip. “We’re friends, Cyrus.”

“You know that’s not all we are.”

“But that’s what we are, Cyrus! I, I’m not sure if I can handle more. I have this career, and I can’t let anything distract me. I need to be in the game.”

“Then why did you lead me on?” Cyrus said, a tear escaping his eye.

“I, I didn’t,” TJ whispered, cupping Cyrus’ cheek with his hand. “This just seemed like the best option. The easiest.”

“Easy for you,” Cyrus scoffed, looking up. “But what about me? What about me TJ? Do you think it’s easy for me?”

“I’m sorry,” TJ said, looking down.

“No, you aren’t. Because you don’t get it! You may not want more but, but I do,” Cyrus said shakily. “TJ, I love you.”

TJ looked like he had been hit by a bat when he heard Cyrus say those words. “Oh,” was all he could say.

Cyrus just shook his head, laughing bitterly. “Every single time we did this, and you left, it hurt so fucking much. But I kept staying, because I was addicted. It was a pick-me-up. I thought you could change. But you can’t save the night for me anymore, TJ.”

With that, Cyrus got up, taking off the hoodie TJ had put on him the previous night and putting it in TJ’s hand.

“Wait, Cyrus, please,” TJ said, his voice desperate. He got up, grabbing Cyrus’ hand and squeezing it. “Please don’t go. Please. I’m sorry. This is good, what we have is good.”

But Cyrus shook his head firmly. “Yeah, it’s good. But I need to resist it. You can keep it if you want, but I’m not letting myself get hurt anymore.”

TJ drew a shaky breath, leaning in to try and kiss Cyrus, but Cyrus pushed him away, walking away to the front door. TJ ran after him, trying to find something, anything to say.

“Cyrus, please, I,” TJ said, stammering. “I love you too. I really do. Please.”

Cyrus stopped at the door, his hand hovering over the handle. He turned around to face TJ, his eyes full of tears. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“What can I do to fix this? Just tell me!”

“Time. That’s all that can fix this, maybe.”

TJ looked away, running a hand wildly through his hair. Cyrus looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back his tears. But finally, he took a deep breath and looked at TJ.

“Goodbye TJ.”

And with that, Cyrus walked away.

**Author's Note:**

> ……. I’m sorry did you expect fluff? Also this is terrible I’m sorry


End file.
